The High Cost of Perfection: A Review of I Am Not Jessica Chen

Ann Liang wonderfully captures the incessant despair and insecurities of a high school student in her contemporary novel, I Am Not Jessica Chen, through its life-like characters and depiction of academic stress.

Synopsis
Jenna Chen, a senior at the elite Havenwood Academy, never compares to her cousin - the beautiful, sweet, and incredibly smart Jessica Chen - who even got into Harvard. Defeated, Jenna makes a wish: to just be Jessica Chen.

When Jenna wakes up the next morning, her wish coming true is the last thing she expects. She finally gets to live the life she’s always wanted, but as Jenna lives as Jessica Chen, she realizes that being the perfect student isn’t always what it appears to be. As Jenna continues to be Jessica, the more people seem to be forgetting if a Jenna Chen ever existed. Everyone except for Jenna’s childhood friend - the talented, annoyingly handsome Aaron Cai.

Review
I was able to look past the impossible logic of the whole body-swapping aspect because of the rest of the book. At the start and nearing the end, I Am Not Jessica Chen certainly requires a bit of suspension of disbelief with its touch of magical realism.

The rather straightforward language fit I Am Not Jessica Chen so well, it truly felt as if a high schooler was communicating her thoughts to a friend or recalling the story in a journal. Ann Liang expressed Jenna’s turmoil in such a relatable way: Jenna’s struggle to prove herself - to both her immigrant parents, especially with the sacrifices they made for her, and herself - is painfully realistic. Liang captures the anger that comes from not feeling as if you aren't up to par with your peers.

Havenwood’s competitive and cutthroat environment is portrayed fantastically, I could see all of the characters existing in real life with their varying personalities. Their actions and words demonstrated what the toxic atmosphere shaped them to become. I only wish that I could have learned more about Celine and Cathy, especially with how Celine seemed to be slightly two-faced towards Jessica and why Cathy is able to let go of the situation more easily than I expected (no spoilers!! You’ll see what happens later in the book!! :)

The romance is developed enough to want to see more of Jenna and Aaron. I appreciate how Aaron is his own character and that Jenna isn’t the sole focus of his life. He has his own motives, wishes, and tribulations - and he isn’t a flawless person either. Jenna and Aaron’s interactions felt authentic because of how awkward they were around each other considering their past, but their interactions also showed the level of comfort in their relationship, especially since they had known each other for such a long time.

I loved how the romance didn’t take away from the main theme of the novel, and how the majority of the focus is on Jenna and her journey on overcoming her feelings of lacking and always comparing herself to others. It was beautiful following Jenna and watching her come to terms with herself, slowly letting go of her feelings of inferiority and pent-up self-hatred, while also acknowledging that it’s difficult in itself to feel at ease as oneself. Jenna’s realization of how much her parents love her no matter who she is and what she does - and that she is so deserving of that love - was so lovely.

I Am Not Jessica Chen illustrates a touching message of self-acceptance to its young adult audience who may be struggling with Jenna and all the secondary characters’ troubles. (With the incoming dread and academic pressure AP season causes, I definitely needed this message too!) This contemporary novel is a sweet weekend read and once you start you might end up finishing it a bit too quickly!